Self-Love Stories: Ebonee Debrah
April 3, 2021
Meet Ebonee Debrah! She is an author, poet, mom of 6, and also a burn survivor. In today’s post, she will share her journey to self-love coming out of a traumatic experience and how writing and creating authentic content has helped in her healing process.
Tell us about yourself.
My name is Ebonee Debrah. I am a wife and mother of 6 residing in Texas. I am also a diversified content creator, poet, and author. I create content on Instagram, YouTube, and via my blog that is meant to inspire women to rise above challenges and live authentically. I recently founded Write Away Authors’ Academy, a coaching service to help aspiring authors write their first book. My full-time career in business is a workforce management analyst. In my spare time, I love to travel, write poetry, visit museums, attend concerts and comedy shows, and participate in church activities.
Describe an area of your life where you felt less confident and how you overcame it.
One area of life where I felt less confident was in my physical appearance after being burned in a house fire in 2019. The fire left me with permanent and very noticeable scars all over my body, including my face. Previously, I took pride in my appearance and enjoyed presenting my best face to the world. After the accident, I lost the confidence to be in social situations and experienced extreme anxiety when meeting new people.
I was always afraid of being pre-judged based on my appearance. I felt as if my scars preceded me and that people would initially develop an idea about who I was as a person based on what I looked like rather than taking time to get to know me. I also developed a feeling of inferiority to others because I felt as if I were damaged somehow.
I did the following things to overcome my loss of confidence:
1. I stopped caring what other people thought of me.
2. I realized that my worth and value as a person are deeper than superficial things.
3. I learned to love myself unconditionally, despite any imperfections.
Why is self-love important, and how do you practice it in your life today?
Self-love is important because it is the foundation of so many other things. Confidence, knowing your worth, setting proper boundaries, speaking up for yourself, believing in yourself, understanding you deserve good things, not taking verbal/mental/physical abuse from anyone, etc., all relate back to self-love.
I practice self-love by:
1. Accepting myself for who I am.
2. Forgiving myself when I make mistakes.
3. Taking care of my mind and body.
4. Speaking kindly to myself.
5. Not comparing myself with others.
6. Surrounding myself with people who love and respect me.
7. Being comfortable with saying no and setting boundaries.
What advice would you give someone who is struggling to love who they are?
Set the example for others to follow. If you expect others in your life to love you unconditionally, you must first love yourself. Treat yourself as you would a small child or a best friend. Your love for them would not be dependent on trivial things that are likely characteristics that make them unique individuals. Love yourself with compassion and kindness like you would that small child or best friend.
Also, forgive yourself for anything that you regret or wish you would have done differently. Release any guilt that may be hindering you from completely loving yourself. Release any expectations of what you feel you should look like, what skills or abilities you should have, or what level of success you should reach.
Love yourself how you are right now unconditionally. Unconditional love says no matter what you look like, what abilities or talents you possess, no matter what you have accomplished in your life, you will love yourself just as you are.
How does the work you do now help build confidence in others?
As a content creator, I have always created transparent content, revealing my strengths and struggles. This level of transparency has helped others overcome their own challenges. When I had my accident, I continued to make content on social media and shared what I was going through. Others could see my personal growth and development as I overcame those challenges, which has given them the strength to do the same.
The feedback that I receive is so rewarding and fulfilling. I have received messages thanking me for being vulnerable and sharing my experiences because it helps to see that a person can go through something traumatic and come through better than ever on the other side. It is an incredible feeling to receive heartfelt feedback, and it makes me feel as if I am living my life’s purpose. It also makes me feel as if the difficult things I have experienced in my life were not in vain.
Do you have a helpful product or service we can check out?
Yes. I have a lifestyle blog dedicated to helping women create a life of positivity, purpose, and authenticity. For anyone struggling with their confidence or self-love, I recommend any blog posts that can be found under the tags personal growth, self-care, and inspiration.
Where can we keep up with you online?